~Kunoichi-Rekaina

Okay, if anyone was wondering why I was freaking out in the previous journal ([link]) I'm going to explain. I had a problem with Hong, I know some of you already know this, like Vicki. Anyways, he asked me out and in some accidental completely mindboggling confusing way I said yes to him. However, this was by COMPLETE ACCIDENT and I didn't really mean it; he just surprised me. I said I would consider it and he took it as a yes, which was a complete miscommunication. Plus, he asked me out on MSN which made it even harder to sort things out with him.

Before I continue with my story (for lack of a better word), I'll explain a few things. Its not like I don't like Hong, he's a nice guy and he's my buddy, but I'm not looking for dating. I don't mean just him, I mean anyone. Dating isn't something I'm interested in, you can call it immaturity and I'll agree.

Basically my mind works like this, if I was given the choice of either fighting a war where I would have to kill other human beings for a cause and possibly die myself, and being forced into maturity or being put in an uncomfortable lovey dovey situation...I would choose war.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not masochistic, I'm not interested in girls, and I sure as hell don't hate boys. I'm simply in that gangly teen stage where everything except love makes sense, even algebra makes more sense!

NormalMakesSensetoMeAlgebra

A+B = C

ConfusingI'dRatherShootMyOwnFootAlgebra

Boy+Girl = 90398465934238549286527364569109764089765076827465873467777773881966633 DIFFERENT POSSIBILITIES!

(Though in some cases it's Boy+Boy or Girl+Girl or Boy+Boy+Girl and so on...you'd be surprised what types of messed up things people get into)

Anyways, enough mathmatical equations...This happened during the middle of exams week. Unfortunate: yes. Damaging to my mark: luckily no. I told alot of people the situation and I kept on getting the same information: "Tell him the truth, but be nice about it". Though I did get one that was: "Learn to be a bitch". There was another bit of quote that is absolutely unrelated with the others; it was: "He's cute. Too bad he's a freak."

So it took me a week+ to finally get the courage to talk to him...I didn't even say it to his face...[cries].

You see...he sent me an e-mail, and I'm not supposed to tell you what's in it on his request. Anyways, I responded to the e-mail...by telling him a whole bunch of metaphorical stuff that basically said...I'm sorry I'm such a wimp and I have to break your poor little korean heart and make your life even more stressful! I'm a huge coward who wishes to be asexual for her enire highschool life! I'M SORRY!

lol...anyways...it's fixed, he forgave me, he still seems a bit emo, but it should all be good...thank you and good night.

(That's right, it's finally over. QUEUE THE MUSIC!! All is safe and I'm not emo...just really tired because I stayed up until about 5AM two days in a row...)